EVA AND RICK’S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY

By Eva Carner

In 1982, I became the foster mom to a small child who got a pretty rough start to life and an even rougher “pre” start. Rick’s birth mom was addicted to alcohol and for most of his time in her womb, she drank heavily. I was a single, special education teacher and worked with children with developmental disabilities for the Riverside County Office of Education. When Rick came to me at the age of 4, I had little knowledge of his disabilities and what it would mean to his future, and to mine.

ABUSE AND NEGLECT
He wore out his welcome in a few months wherever he went and had survived at least 13 homes by the time he came to live with me. One of his “homes” was the psychiatric ward of a county hospital where he stayed for three months when he was two. Immediately preceding this, he visited his birth mom and returned in a catatonic state. He wouldn’t stop rocking and staring into space. His foster parents couldn’t break his trance and after a few hours took him to the emergency room. When he was discharged, they refused to take him back. All of the placements ended because of alleged abuse in the foster home or because Rick was no longer wanted. Because of this I expected him to have an attachment disorder but when he was 5 a pediatric neurologist diagnosed him as having possible Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and prescribed Ritalin. My medical dictionary and other research didn’t tell me much; just that it was a cause of mental retardation. Rick didn’t look like the photos and had none of the physical characteristics. I dismissed it. I was in denial. I figured a secure, stable, loving home would work wonders for my Ricky.

THE EARLY YEARS
Despite his early problems, Rick made progress. Then he seemed to “plateau” and failed to respond to behavior modification techniques or any other attempts to control his destructive behavior. Those important in his life went to great lengths to try to change his impulsivity, his “non-compliance”, his inability to learn from his mistakes, and his obsessive verbal perseveration (endless repetition of a given subject). Nothing worked. Others met his failures with increasing hostility.

Rick went through a series of special education placements during this time. He was asked to leave all of them. Eventually, at 8 he was placed in private “behavior modification” schools for SED (severely emotionally disturbed), complete with locked “time-out” rooms and hulking “counselors” that “restrained” non-compliant students. In these programs he suffered the most physical and emotional abuse.

OUR CRISIS
At 13 Rick grew to over 6 feet tall, and was suddenly stronger than me. I had been able to physically prevent him from leaving the house when he was smaller but it became increasingly difficult. When he became angry and was unsupervised in the community,
he was dangerous. He was often destructive of property and his impulsive actions threatened himself and others. The breaking point came one day when, in a rage, he tried to push his way past me to the front door. Simply creating a physical barrier to his bolting no longer worked. He was hardened to physical restraint and more willing to use violence. I could no longer contain him. In desperation, to keep him from hurting others and himself, I grabbed a plastic whiffle bat and tried to keep him at bay by swinging it wildly in front of me. We both ended up with a bloody nose and it was he who called the police.

When the patrolman asked me if I wanted him removed, I said “yes.”

They led my little boy away to a psychiatric ward as a “danger to himself and others.” We were both in tears, and he was in handcuffs. I can’t imagine parents believing anything other than they had failed.

MY BREAKTHROUGH
I left my son in confinement and on my way to visit him the next day I bought a book that I had heard mentioned in a newspaper article. It was called “The Broken Cord.” From that book and other materials, I learned for the first time that a newborn doesn’t need all the characteristics of FAS to have serious damage from prenatal alcohol exposure. I learned that brain and other vital organ damage could be severe even in the absence of a developmental disability. I learned that the executive function of the brain is usually affected by prenatal exposure and the most frequent result of this is lack of impulse control. I discovered one other important thing that had never occurred to me – I was not alone. Reading this important book changed my life. It gave me new insight and a desire to learn more. On a spiritual level it gave meaning to the chaos. It turns out that Rick’s confinement was the beginning of a new journey for both of us.

THE REAL STORY
If this were simply the story of a persevering mom hanging in there with an abused kid and overcoming adversity and some of the affects of a traumatic childhood it would make good reading but it wouldn’t begin to tell the story. This story is not my story but the story of thousands of kids born each year with brain damage caused by prenatal exposure to alcohol and experiencing the same things. Experts estimate that 5000 babies are born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) in the United States each year. Who knows how many remain undiagnosed? It’s the number one prevent able cause of mental retardation in our country. These figures are for FAS alone. An estimated three to ten times this figure have other disorders related to prenatal alcohol exposure. The term now commonly used by researchers and experts to describe everyone affected by maternal drinking is Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD). FASD is the entire iceberg while FAS is the small tip above the waterline and in full view. A recent study found that approximately one newborn in a hundred has significant damage caused by prenatal alcohol exposure. Individuals having effects “below the surface” of this iceberg have more problems because that water is murky and it’s hard to see. Trouble with the law, substance abuse, disruptive school experiences and mental illness occur at alarming rates in individuals with FASD. Called “secondary disabilities” many of these can be prevented. The most important way to prevent them is by getting appropriate services for those who need them. But where to turn?


THE CRISIS IN EVERY COMMUNITY
We are learning that FASD is a widespread problem that affects all demographic groups and all communities. To realize we have a real crisis -- a silent one, but one nonetheless -- we only need look at the latest research and at certain adolescent behaviors. We can find these high-risk choices among the youth in every city, suburb and town. A recent survey of high school students commissioned by the Center for Disease Control in Washoe County, Nevada revealed that 46.8% of high school students had drank alcohol in the last 30 days, 32.2% had drank five or more alcoholic drinks in one setting in the past 30 days, and 48.6% had sexual intercourse. Some of the most troubling findings come from a longitudinal study at the University of Washington by pioneer researcher Ann Streissguth, Ph.D. In a study of over 400 individuals with FASD she found that by the time they reach adulthood, 94% have mental health problems, 70% have been suspended, expelled or dropped out from school, and 70% of women and 53% of
men have substance abuse problems. This is only a sampling of a growing body ofknowledge on FASD. One colleague likened the information emerging on prenatal exposure to alcohol to research on radiation poisoning. Each year for a while in the middle decades of the last century, experts found that less and less exposure caused serious damage to more systems of the body. This is happening with research on prenatal exposure to alcohol as well. Besides the human toll, the cost to society to treat one individual with FAS over a lifetime is close to a million dollars.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES
It has been over a decade since my crisis-producing epiphany and my son and I have a good relationship. Time is a great healer and it seems with better understanding and support for Rick much of the emotional damage of those terrible years has been reversed. Rick is a very loving, gentle and humorous young man. I don’t take credit for that. It is his natural, God-given nature. He simply needed an opportunity to show it. I am fortunate. Many parents have far more problems as their child enters adolescence
and beyond.

Though I’m a single mom, I had to quit my job as a Special Education teacher and start a business I could do from home. I am one of the lucky parents of a child with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder -- my son qualifies for services through the regional center system of California. It is sad but true that a protective factor for secondary disabilities caused by FASD is an IQ or overall intelligence score below 70. Those above this amazingly arbitrary number are usually locked out of the service system. This is something we seek to change in California and nationally, as the systems that often end up “treating” our children with FASD are called substance abuse, mental health and criminal justice.